Somebody told me recently that they don't believe Humans should have rights. This anti-humanitarian hatemonger managed to poke his jaded head out of the fog of post-adolescent ennui just long enough to say that PUPPIES should be the primary recipients of respect and decency. Fool! Clearly cats have first dibs.

- Moggies should be given the right to own land. Fuck it, they strut around like they own the place anyway.
- If every cat in Australia had the right to vote, we'd have an excuse for our Prime Minister being such a Pussy.
- Kitties in the workplace would spend the entire time asleep under the desk or gazing at their reflection in the glass, just like women do.
- Cats in control of financial institutions. Bring on the 'clawbacks.'

Questions? Comments? No cattiness, please.

It's been awhile between bitter gasbagging, Journal. Sorry for the blatant neglect. I've been busy filling my days with nothing interesting, productive or relevant. I have, however, just managed to injure myself sewing Conflict patches onto my jeans. Nothing says 'Custom Rock' like spatterings of my very own DNA.

Sebastian Bach, covering Rancid, BADLY, on a fake stage in an American television comedy series in which tiny weird Asians play drums, also badly.

Well, now I've seen everything.

A sudden and curious aesthetic trend

Ever since I saw the filmclip to Lily Allen's The Fear I have desperately wanted to cut myself a scummy Chav fringe. The itch was eclipsed only by an unrequited yearning for sweeping 50's style soft curls across the forehead, as seen in Katy Perry's film clip for I Kissed A Girl.

Oh. I see where this is going. Thank god Flock of Seagulls is no longer a major player at the MTV awards.

There comes a time in every girl's life where her co-worker will ask a question, laden with folly and bemusement, and to which the answer is obvious.

"What are you doing?"

"Arranging stationery in the shape of a giant penis."

"Oh. Ok. Hey have you got that Mitsubishi job bag?"

No one here appreciates my genius.